They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
