I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
