I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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