my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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