Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
