2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
