Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize