Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
