Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
now i know why i became what i already was.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
