I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
