Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Randomize
