I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
