SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize