I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
