He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
