Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
