clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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