I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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