I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Boobs are out for the taking
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize