what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
