Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
