hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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