I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
