If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So squirting runs in the family.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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