God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize