can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
