i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
