He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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