she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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