Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
