You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
