ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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