My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
