Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
