Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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