at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
