There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
love makes seman taste better
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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