Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
its not stalking. its research.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
