My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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