Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
