Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
