I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
