i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
