"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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