When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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