He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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