He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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