it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
either way he was missing a nipple.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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