he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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