i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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