I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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