He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
