hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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