is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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