Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Text me some of your sweat
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