What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
