3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize