Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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