He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
