do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
