i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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