How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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