drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize