i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
