I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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