You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
