oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
