ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
and you fell through a lawn chair
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize