She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
