No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
