i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Panties = found
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
