So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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