Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
