Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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