He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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